urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84 Dokas Dokas 2005-02-16T02:37:41Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:17829 2005-02-16T02:37:41Z 2005-02-16T02:37:41Z Thank god she is off the vent and doing ok. she will get to come home in a few days i miss her so much!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:17475 2005-02-15T03:28:18Z 2005-02-15T03:28:18Z another day down and the tube is still in they are going to try and take it our tomorrow but if it is anything like to day she is going to have that thing in her for a long time urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:17226 2005-02-14T02:31:31Z 2005-02-14T02:31:31Z we are going in to day 4 she is still not up and now she has a feeding tube. They said they might take out the breathing tube tomorrow. I can not waite till she wakes up i miss not being able to hold her. So i guess we will have v-day dinner in the hospital. All liquid dinner for her i am such a good date. I love you brittany pleas get better soon. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:17109 2005-02-13T12:17:21Z 2005-02-13T12:17:21Z thanks guys. Back to the hospital i go urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:16679 2005-02-13T01:35:04Z 2005-02-13T01:35:04Z she is not getting better and i am so sleepy right now i hope she is ok i can not live with out her urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:16393 2005-02-12T05:18:28Z 2005-02-12T05:19:35Z well Brittany is in the hospital she has a tub down her throat, all this stuff hooked up to her and is not awake. I just got home she has been there all day. I think she will get to come home on monday. I can not handel this so I am not gonig to work tomorrow. I have to go do papers to night and all i want to do is go back and be with her. So i guess i will go back up ther about 6 am. they said i could stay all night but i have to go to work sucks ass. I love her so much i hope she gets better soon. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:16257 2004-12-11T05:39:09Z 2004-12-11T05:39:09Z well this birthday sucked ass. My mom did not call the say happy birthday to me. The mom i live with did not say it eather. My fucking girlfriend spent most of the day with someone else. She said she would be home and come to see me at work but she did not come home till 10:30. Work sucked, I am sleepy but I can't go to sleep. And i did not get shit. I have bills comeing out my ass and I just had to sell most of my stock to pay one of them. So all in all This has been a shity day. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:16127 2004-09-05T20:00:18Z 2004-12-11T05:42:45Z well i guess andrew knows we are together. I thought that was all i wanted but she talked to him to day and i did not feel any better. I told her that was all i wanted for him to know. Then we had one of our drunk talks about us and i was not happy how it ended. I still feel like she will leave me if the opportunity arises. EVery time we talk about it i never feel better. Cuz all she does is tel me how much she loves him and how she wishes she could be with him. then she will say but i love you and i am with you right. i don;t know i just want this to work out but some times i am very scared it wont. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:15668 2004-08-03T20:19:37Z 2004-08-03T20:19:37Z hi i am in amsterdam!! Renee says hi. it's been a long time. i am coming back to the states on friday but i am off to the beach. see you all (maybe) the end of aug. have fun. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:15510 2004-06-28T20:09:09Z 2004-06-28T20:09:09Z Going to Europe tomorrow see you all the end of august urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:15136 2004-06-21T15:26:12Z 2004-12-11T05:44:02Z Brittany let me read her poems last night. They were good but I don't think they were for me but still good. I am going to miss her more then anything in this world when I leave. She is going to stay here and that makes me feel better. I don't know I just cant get use to her sleeping in the same bad with him. The night they had the big fight she said she tried and he was the one who said it would not work. That she wanted to make it work but he would not try. That hurt so bad just knowing she would drop me if he said he wanted to try again. I would just die. And he still does not know about us. I though he did but he does not. I guess in time I will get over it but for now it's still hard. I love this girl with all my heart and I am willing to give up everything for her go where ever she wants do what ever she asks. I am just scared that she will still leave me. I guess it's just my own insecurities I am dealing with ans once I work out my own problems it will be ok I guess. I just don't want her to leave me I love her to much but she loves him. Will it ever work out or will it be like this the rest of our lives? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:13905 2004-05-11T17:29:34Z 2004-12-11T05:44:33Z well I started my job yesterday. It was not to bad. I am so happy to have a job. Ok well I guess thats all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:11005 2004-02-26T23:02:14Z 2004-02-26T23:02:14Z <table border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center"><form action="http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=rashock&amp;meme=1062613775" method="POST"><tr><th colspan="2" bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#DDDD88">What will your Funeral be like? by rashock</font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#FFFFFF">Username</font></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"><font color="#000000"><input type="text" name="Username" value="Robin" size="20"></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#FFFFFF">You will die by:</font></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"><font color="#000000">You body was found mangled in a brutal death from an insane lover or jealous significate other.The murderer was sentenced to death row but the chair or gas was too good for them. They sowed you up in a bag and tossed you in your casket, It&#39;s a closed case unless your friends and family want to be sick.</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#FFFFFF">Death Date:</font></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"><font color="#000000">August 15, 2011</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#FFFFFF">Number attending your funeral?</font></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"><font color="#000000">178</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#FFFFFF">How much will you leave to friends and family?</font></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"><font color="#000000">$274,966</font></td></tr><input type="hidden" name="un" value="rashock"><input type="hidden" name="meme" value="1062613775"><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><font size="-1" color="#FFFFFF">Created with <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/"><img src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" style="vertical-align:bottom;border:0;"><font color="#DDDD88">quill18</font></a>'s <a href="http://memegen.deskslave.org/"><font color="#DDDD88">MemeGen 2.0</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:10750 2004-02-24T02:07:25Z 2004-02-24T02:07:25Z <img src="http://www.world66.com/myworld66/visitedEurope/countrymapvisited=AUBECZDKENFIFRGEGRIEITLTMLMCNLNINOSCSESWVCWA"><br /><br /><a href="http://www.world66.com/myworld66/visitedEurope">create your personalized map of europe</a><br /> or <a href="http://www.world66.com">write about it on the open travel guide</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:9713 2004-02-23T00:43:25Z 2004-02-23T00:43:25Z Well yesterday I left my mom a note telling her I was gay. I thought she would want to talk about it but she has not <br /><br />said anything to me. I do not want to talk about it but I do want to know how she feels about it. I think she knew <br /><br />already and is just like" ok what evey" but I would like to know. I want to tell her about me and Brittany but I don't <br /><br />know if I should. I mean she has to know something. Brittany has been sleeping in my bed for the past 8 weeks. I think <br /><br />she is going to keep sleeping with me. She has never slept by her self and we like sharing a bed. So I told my mom she <br /><br />did not like to sleep by her self and she said "maybe we should bring her bed down here". Now is that her was of saying <br /><br />I know you two are together or did she not read my letter and has no idea what is going on in her house? I have no idea. <br /><br />I want to keep Brittany with me but I don't want to talk to my mom, but I want her to know so I can hold brittany's hand <br /><br />or kiss her and not think my mom will come in and see us. I wish this was easer to do. I need my mom to know that I am <br /><br />in love with this girl and this is not going to be over any time soon. Oh what to do, what to do? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:9385 2004-02-22T01:54:02Z 2004-02-22T01:56:54Z <center><table width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="red">&nbsp;</td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="orange">&nbsp;</td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="yellow">&nbsp;</td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="green">&nbsp;</td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="blue">&nbsp;</td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="purple">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td colspan="6" align="center"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/shared_boxers/578528.html">Marriage is love.</a></td></tr></table></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:9027 2004-02-20T18:46:46Z 2004-02-20T18:46:46Z FIRSTS<br />First job: no job, ever<br />First screen name: obin84<br />First self purchased tape: <br />First funeral: my pa<br />First piercing/tattoo: Ears<br />First credit card: bank 1 <br />First true love: Brittany<br />First enemy: j shoc<br /><br /><br />LASTS<br />Last big car ride: fort recovery<br />Last kiss: last night<br />Last library book checked out: ?<br />Last movie seen: 50 first dates<br />Last beverage drank: water<br />Last food consumed: pizza<br />Last phone call: Brittany called to tell me she was going to be home<br />CD played: <br />Last annoyance: brittany<br />Last soda drank: cheerwine<br />Last ice cream eaten: I have no idea. <br />Last time scolded: I dunno<br />Last shirt worn: some soccer shirt<br />Last website visited: ask.com. <br /><br />I WANT: my kne to stop hurting<br />I HAVE: no money<br />I WISH: I could walk and drive<br />I HATE: ummmm...<br />I FEAR: the next 10 years<br />I HEAR: the t.v<br />I SEARCH: for info on my paper<br />I WONDER: how long it will last<br />I REGRET: not one thing<br />I LOVE: everything<br />I ALWAYS: say the wrong thing<br />I AM NOT: what people think<br />I DANCE: alone<br />I SING: in the car<br />I CRY: when no one is around<br />I AM NOT ALWAYS: nice<br />I NEVER WRITE: if I have to<br />I WIN: when I do not ry so hard<br />I LOSE: when I think about it<br />I CONFUSE: most<br />I NEED: a new knee<br />I SHOULD: do my homework<br /><br /><br />YES or NO<br />YOU KEEP A DIARY: yes<br />YOU LIKE TO COOK: yes<br />YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: yes<br /><br /><br />DO YOU...?<br />HAVE A CRUSH: well I guess<br />WANT TO GET MARRIED: yes<br />GET MOTION SICKNESS: no<br />THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: no way<br />LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: sometimes<br />CURRENT HAIR COLOR: dark brown/black<br />EYE COLOR: Blue<br />BIRTHPLACE: M-Town<br /><br />FAVORITES:<br /><br />NUMBER: 15<br />COLOR: blue<br />DAY: friday<br />MONTH: june<br />SONG(S): <br />SEASON: fall<br /><br />DRINK: cheerwine<br /><br />PREFERENCES:<br />CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: Either<br />CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: hot chocolate<br />MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: Milk<br />VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: Vanilla<br /><br />IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...<br />CRIED? yes<br />HELPED SOMEONE? i don't think so<br />BOUGHT SOMETHING? yes<br />GOTTEN SICK? Nope<br />GONE TO THE MOVIES? Nope<br />SAID 'i love you'?: yes<br />WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: Nope<br />TALKED TO AN EX?: Nope<br />MISSED AN EX? : No<br />WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: this one<br />HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: yes<br />MISSED SOMEONE? yes<br />HUGGED SOMEONE? yes<br />FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? Nope<br />FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? Nope urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:8636 2004-02-18T02:20:12Z 2004-02-18T02:20:12Z Etta James Well I had my surgery today. My fucking knee is killing me,but other than that I am ok. I did hurl 4 times already. So, yeah I think I am going to take two weeks off cuz this shit hurts more than I thought it was going to. It's nice though I have a personal nurse to take care of me. I still have to take that fucking geo test. I guess I will get to it sometime soon. <br /><br />So yeah Brittany got a job at waffle house courtesy of my dad. So thats cool. She starts tomorrow but she will work in monroe. It will suck cuz she is going to be off work when I am in school and working when I am not. OH well what can ya do but it will still suck.<br /><br />I guess that's all. see ya'll in a few weeks. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:8439 2004-02-14T16:12:28Z 2004-02-14T16:13:03Z She says she is sorry, she always says she is sorry. I believe her I do but at the time she makes me hurt. She knows I am trying she know that. Sometimes she just has to tell me what she thinks. I know that is who she is and most of the time I love her for it. But when it is directed at me it is hard to love. I want her to be happy and I want me to be happy. Oh well it is over and she has said sorry and so have I, we made up and all is good for now. <br /><br />she loved her V-day gift. I got her some candy, a stuff dog, and 5 long stem roses ( 1 for each week we have been together. I am glad she liked them.<br /><br />We have a lot to do today. We are going to her mom's, going to a movie, dinner, we have to go see her day in jail, stop by jessica's house some time, and we are going out to a club tonight. Busy, busy, busy day.<br /><br />I hope to see you all sometime tonight. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:8020 2004-02-14T02:01:55Z 2004-02-14T02:01:55Z WHat the fuck am I doing? I am fucking stuff up. I can not handle this. All she wants is for my to tell Ashley but I can't. I don;t know why I can but I can't. I care more about her than I do about my self but I still cant do it for her, why? This is never going to work if I can not tell people I am gay. This is to dame hard for me. I think I am falling in love with her but all we have done for the past few days is fight about how I am NOT telling people I am gay. She should understand. I should understand where she is coming form. I just want to cry. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:7824 2004-02-12T21:57:21Z 2004-02-12T21:57:21Z Well last night was the first night brittany and I have spent apart for a long time and it was not to bad. We did fight before she left and I was not happy about how we left things. I guess its all cool now but I never know. It seams like she can get mad at me for anything but I am not aloud to get mad at her. What is that all about? Girls, what can I say. Oh well she will be back tonight.<br /><br />I had to go get my knee brace today and guess how much it was? $555.00 can you believe it!!! That is so much money and I had to pay $50 for the crutches. Oh well what is $600.00 on top of like $5000.00 for the surgery right? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:7133 2004-02-07T01:23:25Z 2004-02-07T01:23:25Z This week went by so slow!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:6723 2004-02-06T18:10:43Z 2004-02-06T18:10:43Z I need to know what you do for a one month anniversary? Do you even celebrate it? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:6580 2004-01-24T20:56:08Z 2004-01-24T20:56:08Z Well even thought I had to leave the play and shit was not too good. It all turned out ok in the end. I had to go get a friend. her mom said she was going to kick her ass if she did not get out of the house. Now she has done it before so I had to get her fast. Well I got there and she was locked in a room and her mom was crying so I just took her to my house. But it's all good. thats about all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:obin84:6198 2004-01-21T03:22:29Z 2004-01-21T03:22:29Z Life is just good!! I hope this does not end soon. I have had so much fun the last 3 days. I feel like I can be who I am and no one gives a dam. I cant wait for the phone call tomorrow!!!